In a perfect world we shall all live in perfect relationships, always starry eyed, always lovey-dovey, always full of awe for our loved one. Well, then it would be a perfect world. This when put to the real world context, faces many challenges and dilemmas.
Some of them are unfortunately more difficult than the others. Every relationship goes through a rough patch some time or the other. It tests the longevity and integrity of the relationship. Sometimes, couples overcome them and emerge with a stronger bonding for each other.
But, there are situations when it becomes difficult to continue being together. Some call it falling out of love. Some call it pulling apart from one another. The crux of the matter is, the two people in relationship feel that they are losing the common grounds that made them come together. In extreme cases, relationships also turn dry and abusive. This makes drifting apart a necessity, not a choice any longer.
Here are the red flags that will help you to identify when you need to reconsider sticking together with your lover –
- When you feel that the relationship is not making any progress: Every relationship gradually progresses towards further maturity. Well, there are no flagship signs to guide and recognize such a progression. The partners generally feel the deepening of the connection. When you feel disconnect of a permanent kind, you may consider a break.
- When your partner indulges into adultery: It is difficult for a lover to accept that her/his partner has gone astray. Also, some people have this compulsive habit of challenging the rules of a monogamous relationship. This can be very difficult for the other person in the relationship to continue being together.
- When you fail to plan your future together: One sure sign of a progressing relationship is when you and your lover make future plans together. Or at least can vision being in each other’s company in future. If your mate doesn’t count you in her/his future plans, or vice versa, then you two are probably not considering sticking to each other for a long time.
- When any of the partners has been abused: Abuse in any form, physical or mental, is not something that should be taken lightly. Most psychologists believe that resorting to violent means can be recurring. It is impossible to be in a relationship when basic dignity gets violated.
- When you find that the person you fell in love with has changed a lot: Well, we are talking about fundamental changes of course. Every human being changes with time. It is but natural that the guy or girl you fell for in college will mature with passage of time. But if you find that there exist differences in ideological principles of life, it’s time to separate your ways.
- When either of you fail to be by the other’s side in times of need: A healthy relationship promises support and love when any of the partner is going through a rough phase in life. If your lover is a fair-weather friend only, it’s time to say goodbye.
- When you can no longer be yourself around each other: Your lover should love you just the way you are. Minor adjustments are alright. But you should not have to change who you are to suit her/him. A healthy relationship can never be conditional.
- When your partner maligns you in front of friends or family or in public: It is never acceptable if your lover picks you or makes a joke of you before others. A light banter or fun with no malice in mind is acceptable, but as long as it does not make you feel uncomfortable or unwanted.
- When you don’t feel cozy or intimate around each other anymore: You don’t need a public display of affection to prove you are in love. But in the privacy and intimacy of one-on-one interaction, the chemistry and passion is essential for a relationship to thrive.
- When you both feel you need time and space away from each other: If the two of you feel that you need time to reconsider your relationships, space out from each other to give a thought about it, chances are that your relationship is not going towards the right direction.
If you consider giving your relationship a break, please remember to respect it and your partner. Your lover and you have spent some wonderful moments together that have enriched the lives of both of you. When it is time to consider a break, be matured to accept the differences gracefully and move away with dignity.
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